...harrassed at work. Is there anything new?
This song is dedicated to my ex-service Engineer, whoever you are. A bit of rewording :P:
At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking
I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how I'd done you wrong
And I grew strong
I learned how to PLAY along
So now you're back
From outer space
I just log on to find you here
With that email subject in my Outlook page
I should have changed my fucking job
I would have made you leave your shit
If I'd have known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with your derrier!
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know where to work I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah
It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces
Of my broken GUT
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for yourself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me
With somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in need of you
And so you thought you'd just drop by
And you expect me to leave thee
But now I'm saving all my I-CHECK
For someone who'll work with me
Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with your derrier!
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know WHERE to work I know I'll be alive
I've got all my live to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah
for original lyrics please visit http://www.lyrics007.com/
Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
..eat and be merry...
...at home.
Basically spent the whole day in bed. Thinking. Imagening. God-knows-what.
Had lunch. Nice one. Spent 82 bucks on lunch. What I appreciated the most is the privacy we had. Groovy background songs. Cosy bedseat for Amir.
To sum lunch:
Good food RM60++
Sweet and heavenly desert RM12++
The look on the waiter's face when I footed the bill = PRICELESS
Hahahahahahah...
Alah, who cares about who's paying what. Give and take. I was the one who picked the place anyway. *wink*
But when it comes to food I don't really care about the price tag. As long as I can enjoy the food and the company then fine with me. Mind you takde la buat hari-hari... oh, and mind you kena la ada budget kalau nak buat gini yep. Tak main la bayar pakai kad kredit kalau makan. Semuanya TUNAI...
But I am not the type yang kalau nak minum kopi kena beli Starbucks (tak macam Amir, dia hanya minum Starbucks). It's not the brand. But it's more on the value that comes with it. Ewah, kemain poyo.
..so off to Cold Storage for some grocery shopping.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
Basically spent the whole day in bed. Thinking. Imagening. God-knows-what.
Had lunch. Nice one. Spent 82 bucks on lunch. What I appreciated the most is the privacy we had. Groovy background songs. Cosy bedseat for Amir.
To sum lunch:
Good food RM60++
Sweet and heavenly desert RM12++
The look on the waiter's face when I footed the bill = PRICELESS
Hahahahahahah...
Alah, who cares about who's paying what. Give and take. I was the one who picked the place anyway. *wink*
But when it comes to food I don't really care about the price tag. As long as I can enjoy the food and the company then fine with me. Mind you takde la buat hari-hari... oh, and mind you kena la ada budget kalau nak buat gini yep. Tak main la bayar pakai kad kredit kalau makan. Semuanya TUNAI...
But I am not the type yang kalau nak minum kopi kena beli Starbucks (tak macam Amir, dia hanya minum Starbucks). It's not the brand. But it's more on the value that comes with it. Ewah, kemain poyo.
..so off to Cold Storage for some grocery shopping.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
...pesanan penaja...
..bosan.
Settlekan duit workshop. 2K plus plus. Aku cakap dengan Amir aku charge interest. Dia mintak aku bagi ikut rate Al-Rajhi; 0.08%. Ewah, siapa banker ni? Aku mintak dia settlekan dalam masa 10 bulan. Aku rasa tu dah cukup adil. Sebenarnya kalau ikut jiwa jahat ni aku nak suruh dia bayar dalam masa 3 bulan. PLUS interest rate ikut minggu. Tapi aku rasa cukup la aku buli dia for the next 10 months ni dengan kerja rumah.
Dia offer bayar balik RM2100. Aku rasa tak cukup tu. Aku rasa aku nak charge dia service charge sekali. Sebab aku pakai savings aku kan, so aku dah rugi in terms of annual dividend aku kat bank tu. Lagi kalau ade risiko lambat bayar. Hmmm...
Ok, I know people will say dengan husband sendiri pun nak berkira. Sebenarnya kawan-kawan, dengan husband la anda patut berkira.
You see, some husbands cannot handle money well. Amir is unfortunate to be in that group. Some of the expenses cannot be traced. Dia tak boleh berniaga. Cepat bungkus. (Sorry Amir but that's the truth.) As a wife, you should be the place where he can fall back on. BUT, you must make sure that your husband doesn't take your kindness for granted.
And there is never such a word "Duit ayang duit abang jugak." NEVER. You see, memang la kalau ikutkan duit isteri kena bagi pada husband, sebab dia bagi izin untuk kita bekerja. Tapi pada aku, that doesn't make any sense at all IF your husband is a bad financial planner. Be ruthless; at least when we impose certain rule, he will understand that there is no waiver or exemption when it comes to borrowing money from your spouse.
Treat your home finance exactly like a business finance. OPEX should be controlled, kalau burst pun patutnya dalam 10% still acceptable. CAPEX should be monitored. CAPEX and OPEX should be planned one year in advance; hence aku tangguh beli Honda City sebab masih ada cost untuk Iswara. Which is unwise kalau aku nak tambah CAPEX tapi aku nye combined annual income masih sama. Savings kena ada; especially utk case emergency. Set a bit of petty cash untuk barang dapur; even though barang dapur ialah OPEX tapi kena ada allocation untuk urgent expenditure - contoh kalau mak / mak mentua datang. Ataupun tetiba kena bawak the whole family pi makan2 kat luar.
Nak hadiah harijadi? Boleh. Since dah tau spouse punya birthday, simpan duit la at least 3 bulan dari bulan birthday tu. Nak impress spouse tapi budget tak ada. Cemana...
And satu lagi kesilapan orang dah kawin ni tak set aside budget untuk entertainment. Hello, dah kawin pun bukan sebab untuk tak pi tengok wayang, karaoke dan berjalan2. Kita tau la nak buat spontaneous punya surprise (jom pi PD) tapi kalau kereta tu boleh berjalan pakai air, go ahead la. Kalau tak, berdayung la anda pi PD tu ye. Jangan lupa bawak IC, nanti orang ingat PATI.
So, to Amir, please ensure that the standing instruction is made from your salary account direct to my Tabung Haji for RM225 each month.
Oh, please niat extra interest as 'hadiah'.. heh heh..
Settlekan duit workshop. 2K plus plus. Aku cakap dengan Amir aku charge interest. Dia mintak aku bagi ikut rate Al-Rajhi; 0.08%. Ewah, siapa banker ni? Aku mintak dia settlekan dalam masa 10 bulan. Aku rasa tu dah cukup adil. Sebenarnya kalau ikut jiwa jahat ni aku nak suruh dia bayar dalam masa 3 bulan. PLUS interest rate ikut minggu. Tapi aku rasa cukup la aku buli dia for the next 10 months ni dengan kerja rumah.
Dia offer bayar balik RM2100. Aku rasa tak cukup tu. Aku rasa aku nak charge dia service charge sekali. Sebab aku pakai savings aku kan, so aku dah rugi in terms of annual dividend aku kat bank tu. Lagi kalau ade risiko lambat bayar. Hmmm...
Ok, I know people will say dengan husband sendiri pun nak berkira. Sebenarnya kawan-kawan, dengan husband la anda patut berkira.
You see, some husbands cannot handle money well. Amir is unfortunate to be in that group. Some of the expenses cannot be traced. Dia tak boleh berniaga. Cepat bungkus. (Sorry Amir but that's the truth.) As a wife, you should be the place where he can fall back on. BUT, you must make sure that your husband doesn't take your kindness for granted.
And there is never such a word "Duit ayang duit abang jugak." NEVER. You see, memang la kalau ikutkan duit isteri kena bagi pada husband, sebab dia bagi izin untuk kita bekerja. Tapi pada aku, that doesn't make any sense at all IF your husband is a bad financial planner. Be ruthless; at least when we impose certain rule, he will understand that there is no waiver or exemption when it comes to borrowing money from your spouse.
Treat your home finance exactly like a business finance. OPEX should be controlled, kalau burst pun patutnya dalam 10% still acceptable. CAPEX should be monitored. CAPEX and OPEX should be planned one year in advance; hence aku tangguh beli Honda City sebab masih ada cost untuk Iswara. Which is unwise kalau aku nak tambah CAPEX tapi aku nye combined annual income masih sama. Savings kena ada; especially utk case emergency. Set a bit of petty cash untuk barang dapur; even though barang dapur ialah OPEX tapi kena ada allocation untuk urgent expenditure - contoh kalau mak / mak mentua datang. Ataupun tetiba kena bawak the whole family pi makan2 kat luar.
Nak hadiah harijadi? Boleh. Since dah tau spouse punya birthday, simpan duit la at least 3 bulan dari bulan birthday tu. Nak impress spouse tapi budget tak ada. Cemana...
And satu lagi kesilapan orang dah kawin ni tak set aside budget untuk entertainment. Hello, dah kawin pun bukan sebab untuk tak pi tengok wayang, karaoke dan berjalan2. Kita tau la nak buat spontaneous punya surprise (jom pi PD) tapi kalau kereta tu boleh berjalan pakai air, go ahead la. Kalau tak, berdayung la anda pi PD tu ye. Jangan lupa bawak IC, nanti orang ingat PATI.
So, to Amir, please ensure that the standing instruction is made from your salary account direct to my Tabung Haji for RM225 each month.
Oh, please niat extra interest as 'hadiah'.. heh heh..
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
...come to think of it...
...setiap kali dengar lagu ni memang tangkap leleh la.
Aku dengan Amir dah banyak sejarah. Dari umo 19 sampai la umo nak masuk 28. Lama. Paling lama aku boleh gaduh dengan dia 3 hari. Tu pun susah sebab dia ni memang muka tak tau malu. Even kalau aku marah dengan dia, sanggup dia tunggu aku depan rumah sewa masa aku kat MMU dulu. Dia kata, nampak rumah pun tak apalah. (Now come to think of it aku rasa Amir psycho. Cemana aku leh tak perasan.. demmm...)
Kalau aku clash dengan dia pun (biasanya time aku period, mood swing), rajin lagi dia pergi public phone booth tu call hp aku. (Zaman dulu tak mampu macam kawan2 lain yang dah ada handphone). Tu pulak sebab nak dengar suara. Lagi la psycho. Kalau gaduh dengan Amir aku tak nak pergi kelas dengan dia. Duduk pun jauh-jauh. Tapi dia akan make sure dia nampak jugak muka aku dalam lecture hall tu. (Itu petanda psycho nombor 3).
Aku pernah jugak suruh dia habiskan makan malam sebab dia order mende yang aku tak nak makan. Bayangkan dia kena makan food dia dengan food aku. Aku make sure tak ada berbaki pun. Senak jangan cerita, tapi aku peduli apa. Macam tu pun dia masih lagi ajak aku makan malam2 lain.
Aku pernah maki dia depan orang.
Aku pernah maki dia dalam telephone.
Aku pernah maki dia dalam IM.
Aku pernah dating dengan ex-boyfriend aku semata-mata nak buat dia sakit hati.
Aku pernah lari balik KL tak bagitau dia. Tau-tau hilang. Dia punya huru hara jangan cerita la.
Tak jalan jugak...
So.. untuk itu, aku postkan lagu Beyonce Flaws and All untuk Amir (yang psycho):
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever-complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love..
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need a attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love..you.
Aku dengan Amir dah banyak sejarah. Dari umo 19 sampai la umo nak masuk 28. Lama. Paling lama aku boleh gaduh dengan dia 3 hari. Tu pun susah sebab dia ni memang muka tak tau malu. Even kalau aku marah dengan dia, sanggup dia tunggu aku depan rumah sewa masa aku kat MMU dulu. Dia kata, nampak rumah pun tak apalah. (Now come to think of it aku rasa Amir psycho. Cemana aku leh tak perasan.. demmm...)
Kalau aku clash dengan dia pun (biasanya time aku period, mood swing), rajin lagi dia pergi public phone booth tu call hp aku. (Zaman dulu tak mampu macam kawan2 lain yang dah ada handphone). Tu pulak sebab nak dengar suara. Lagi la psycho. Kalau gaduh dengan Amir aku tak nak pergi kelas dengan dia. Duduk pun jauh-jauh. Tapi dia akan make sure dia nampak jugak muka aku dalam lecture hall tu. (Itu petanda psycho nombor 3).
Aku pernah jugak suruh dia habiskan makan malam sebab dia order mende yang aku tak nak makan. Bayangkan dia kena makan food dia dengan food aku. Aku make sure tak ada berbaki pun. Senak jangan cerita, tapi aku peduli apa. Macam tu pun dia masih lagi ajak aku makan malam2 lain.
Aku pernah maki dia depan orang.
Aku pernah maki dia dalam telephone.
Aku pernah maki dia dalam IM.
Aku pernah dating dengan ex-boyfriend aku semata-mata nak buat dia sakit hati.
Aku pernah lari balik KL tak bagitau dia. Tau-tau hilang. Dia punya huru hara jangan cerita la.
Tak jalan jugak...
So.. untuk itu, aku postkan lagu Beyonce Flaws and All untuk Amir (yang psycho):
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever-complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love..
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need a attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love..you.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
...you're like a rocket in my mind?
...pagi pagi berdiri dalam LRT. Body kecil orang himpit suka hati. Mula-mula cuma rasa sakit hati. Lama-lama tak tahan macam ini. Aku tolak brader dengan tangan kiri. Rupa-rupanya awek dia berdiri di sisi! Terus dia peluk lengan itu laki laki... he he he...
...sampai ofis muka aku macam udang. (Udang goreng campur dengan kueytiaw kerang.) Jalan kaki muka kena tunjuk garang. Jumpa orang macam mahu lawan pedang. Dalam kepala cuma ingat bantal panjang. Kereta rosak tidur malam pun tak senang.
...tengok email panjang berjela-jela. Tengok miscall macam kerja tangkap naga. Kiri kanan orang cari merata-rata. Tengok meja macam sarang ular sawa. Tengok sms boss bunyi macam puaka. "Mintak pricing internal cabling ini hari juga!". Kalau maki nanti aku juga yang kena.
...masuk meeting sedia senyum penuh pipi. Dalam hati tompok hitam macam daki. Aku niat cuci tangan dengan kaki. Rupanya "no available process at the other party". Aku rasa aku sudah kena badi. Sudah masa tukar mode "King Kong Bundy".
...waktu makan aku tidur dalam surau. Mata pejam tapi otak masih melilau. Itu tanda orang memang jiwa kacau. Rasa macam nak lari pergi pulau. Cuti panjang tak ada siapa boleh berkicau.
...petang sikit aku mula cuci mata. MSN, Wonderwall, buka blog buat cerita. Kerja banyak tapi aku bosan gila. Yang pasti meeting cancel aku gembira!
...dan ini hanya sehingga jam tiga~!!!
...sampai ofis muka aku macam udang. (Udang goreng campur dengan kueytiaw kerang.) Jalan kaki muka kena tunjuk garang. Jumpa orang macam mahu lawan pedang. Dalam kepala cuma ingat bantal panjang. Kereta rosak tidur malam pun tak senang.
...tengok email panjang berjela-jela. Tengok miscall macam kerja tangkap naga. Kiri kanan orang cari merata-rata. Tengok meja macam sarang ular sawa. Tengok sms boss bunyi macam puaka. "Mintak pricing internal cabling ini hari juga!". Kalau maki nanti aku juga yang kena.
...masuk meeting sedia senyum penuh pipi. Dalam hati tompok hitam macam daki. Aku niat cuci tangan dengan kaki. Rupanya "no available process at the other party". Aku rasa aku sudah kena badi. Sudah masa tukar mode "King Kong Bundy".
...waktu makan aku tidur dalam surau. Mata pejam tapi otak masih melilau. Itu tanda orang memang jiwa kacau. Rasa macam nak lari pergi pulau. Cuti panjang tak ada siapa boleh berkicau.
...petang sikit aku mula cuci mata. MSN, Wonderwall, buka blog buat cerita. Kerja banyak tapi aku bosan gila. Yang pasti meeting cancel aku gembira!
...dan ini hanya sehingga jam tiga~!!!
...illness of the heart...
1.11 am.
Working. From where I sit, I can actually hear Amir snoring from the back room. Strange that he chose to sleep in that room alone. Oh well. Not the first time anyway. Maybe he is giving me some space tonight...
It has been an interesting day (at the beginning). I got invited for the Teh Tarik session with Dato' CEO. When I first got the itinerary, I was saying, what the hell? Half a day? How many glasses of Teh Tarik can we stomach? Well, towards the end of the session, it's only two glasses. And yeah, they served nasi lemak and kuih too. So Malaysian. (Note to organizer; Rendang pedas gile. Nasi lemak ok-ok la. Kuih karipap saya tak suka. Teh tarik layannnnnn...)
We got to take group pictures with him (since I am dressed-up to the nine today, I got to sit next to him...ahem). Chit chatting on Group direction... yada yada yada (I'm half-listening anyway). Then the highlight of the session; take personal picture with Dato at his desk, and we got to sit on his seat! (not on his lap...ngeh ngeh...as if.) Someone commented that I looked like a CEO of a cosmetic company. Hey, I'm flattered. The other ladies were dressed up typically in baju kurung. Sape suruh, nampak macam makcik2. Mesti tak bergaya dalam gambar tu. HAHAHAHAHAHA...
But it was then marred by a text message...some screwed-up shit happened...
My first reaction to this text message was, disbelief. Then, anger striked. Called abah first. Expressed disappointment over matter. He said "Ini ujian untuk kau, As." Not enough consolation. Still angry. Called sender of text message. Tried be objective and solve the problem.
Problem partially solved. Go home happy. Can't wait to see sender of text message to tell him of my session today!
Logon to facebook. Nice. Sender of text message actually updated his 'What's on your mind?', saying about the screwed up thing that he texted me this afternoon at work. And yes, some other comments by his friends too. Suddenly, temper flares (something to do with insensitiveness of sender of text message's friends). Avoid sender of text message at home. Prefer not to even eat, nor talk with the sender of text message. In the end, sender of text message chose to sleep in the spare room.
You see, domestic argument is ugly. I am short- tempered. Before, it would end up with heated oral arguments. After 5 years, I just keep my mouth shut. The less I said, the better. Yes, I am angry for some reason. But argument doesn't work anymore for me. He hates my reasoning, saying that all I wanted is to have it my way. I hate his tendencies to stop mid-argument, putting his hands up even before a consensus was reached.
So what is the next best thing? You just look away.
..and just look away.
Working. From where I sit, I can actually hear Amir snoring from the back room. Strange that he chose to sleep in that room alone. Oh well. Not the first time anyway. Maybe he is giving me some space tonight...
It has been an interesting day (at the beginning). I got invited for the Teh Tarik session with Dato' CEO. When I first got the itinerary, I was saying, what the hell? Half a day? How many glasses of Teh Tarik can we stomach? Well, towards the end of the session, it's only two glasses. And yeah, they served nasi lemak and kuih too. So Malaysian. (Note to organizer; Rendang pedas gile. Nasi lemak ok-ok la. Kuih karipap saya tak suka. Teh tarik layannnnnn...)
We got to take group pictures with him (since I am dressed-up to the nine today, I got to sit next to him...ahem). Chit chatting on Group direction... yada yada yada (I'm half-listening anyway). Then the highlight of the session; take personal picture with Dato at his desk, and we got to sit on his seat! (not on his lap...ngeh ngeh...as if.) Someone commented that I looked like a CEO of a cosmetic company. Hey, I'm flattered. The other ladies were dressed up typically in baju kurung. Sape suruh, nampak macam makcik2. Mesti tak bergaya dalam gambar tu. HAHAHAHAHAHA...
But it was then marred by a text message...some screwed-up shit happened...
My first reaction to this text message was, disbelief. Then, anger striked. Called abah first. Expressed disappointment over matter. He said "Ini ujian untuk kau, As." Not enough consolation. Still angry. Called sender of text message. Tried be objective and solve the problem.
Problem partially solved. Go home happy. Can't wait to see sender of text message to tell him of my session today!
Logon to facebook. Nice. Sender of text message actually updated his 'What's on your mind?', saying about the screwed up thing that he texted me this afternoon at work. And yes, some other comments by his friends too. Suddenly, temper flares (something to do with insensitiveness of sender of text message's friends). Avoid sender of text message at home. Prefer not to even eat, nor talk with the sender of text message. In the end, sender of text message chose to sleep in the spare room.
You see, domestic argument is ugly. I am short- tempered. Before, it would end up with heated oral arguments. After 5 years, I just keep my mouth shut. The less I said, the better. Yes, I am angry for some reason. But argument doesn't work anymore for me. He hates my reasoning, saying that all I wanted is to have it my way. I hate his tendencies to stop mid-argument, putting his hands up even before a consensus was reached.
So what is the next best thing? You just look away.
..and just look away.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
...some realigment, huh?
..not that I have no work to do.. but hell, must get this out of my system NOW.
Ok, this is pure logic. If you are in my place what will you do?
Realignment. Yes. That's right. The time when you start creating more post than eliminating unwanted ones. Which defeats the purpose, if you ask me. But hey, I am just a KULI.
But anyhow, that is not my problem. My problem is what comes out of this stupid exercise.
New LOB - Line Of Business. Under new LOB, we have SME, Enterprise and God-knows-what. Some SME customers being upgraded to Enterprise based on current revenue contribution. Now, supposed to take effect 1st April 2009.
So, new requirement for upgraded customer beginning 1st April 2009 goes to?
A) SME
B) Enterprise
C) ...nowhere?
...if your answer is B, you are wrong.
If your answer is A, you are ALSO wrong. The answer is.. C.
Why?
SME won't take new requirements. New requirements need new budget. SME has no budget. Processing of new orders? Nope. SME has no resources to do so. As far as SME is concerned, this customer is no longer with SME.
Enterprise? This is, I quote, the email I got when I forwarded the new request to the new AM;
From: Yours truly
Sent: Fri 4/24/2009 11:49 AM
To: Kak S, Kak R
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Ladies, Possible to start working on this request? Aumi.
From: Kak S
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 2:52 PM
To: Yours truly; Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Aumi.. thanks.. Kak R, Kindly proceed with the request..
From: Kak R
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 4:53 PM
To: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Puan,Should I proceed with the request? TQ.
From: Some AGM up there
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 7:02 PM
To: Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
R, This is for Customer W. Kindly advise Aumi that we are unable to process until after May 2009. TQ
From: Kak R
Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 9:36 AM
To: Kak S; Yours truly
Cc: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Dear Aumi/Kak S,
As per Some AGM up there’s email below, we will only process until after May 2009.
So, Kak S process dulu ye.
TQ.
..see? See how screwed up this exercise is?
Oh.. oh, another one worth bitching:
From: Project Management AGM (PM AGM)
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 1:01 PM
To: Yours truly
Subject: RE: some 60M order
Sorry, Aumi but (some PM guy)is tied up with other projects.
As peremail, you will refer to existing SE, (some SE guy), [editor's note: which no longer reports to SME unit anyway].
After 1st May 2009, the ME project will be handed to TM Global (and not Enterprise Sales) and I hope you will invite TM Global team, (some Global guy)during the kick-off meeting.
TQ.
PM AGM
..and this email was sent after THIS email was sent EARLIER:
From: Planning AGM
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:53 AM
To: Yours truly; PM AGM
Subject: RE: some 60M order
Assalamualaikum & Salam Sejahtera,
I would suggest that you proceed with previous set-up arrangement for the sake of the company. At the same time, TM Global must be involved along the way so he can take over from there.
Knowing (some Global guy), he will give his fullest cooperation also for the sake of TM.
Madam PM AGM, hope you can assist in processing the order.
Thank you.
Salam Hormat & Wassalam.
WHAT A FUCKING JOKE MY COMPANY IS!
The thing is, I don't mind doing my existing files. But give me the fucking resources man! And does anyone actually realized, I haven't even start doing my new files! And my new AGM has been breathing down my neck to "go winover some deals for our team!"
..crap.
Ok, this is pure logic. If you are in my place what will you do?
Realignment. Yes. That's right. The time when you start creating more post than eliminating unwanted ones. Which defeats the purpose, if you ask me. But hey, I am just a KULI.
But anyhow, that is not my problem. My problem is what comes out of this stupid exercise.
New LOB - Line Of Business. Under new LOB, we have SME, Enterprise and God-knows-what. Some SME customers being upgraded to Enterprise based on current revenue contribution. Now, supposed to take effect 1st April 2009.
So, new requirement for upgraded customer beginning 1st April 2009 goes to?
A) SME
B) Enterprise
C) ...nowhere?
...if your answer is B, you are wrong.
If your answer is A, you are ALSO wrong. The answer is.. C.
Why?
SME won't take new requirements. New requirements need new budget. SME has no budget. Processing of new orders? Nope. SME has no resources to do so. As far as SME is concerned, this customer is no longer with SME.
Enterprise? This is, I quote, the email I got when I forwarded the new request to the new AM;
From: Yours truly
Sent: Fri 4/24/2009 11:49 AM
To: Kak S, Kak R
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Ladies, Possible to start working on this request? Aumi.
From: Kak S
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 2:52 PM
To: Yours truly; Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Aumi.. thanks.. Kak R, Kindly proceed with the request..
From: Kak R
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 4:53 PM
To: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Puan,Should I proceed with the request? TQ.
From: Some AGM up there
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 7:02 PM
To: Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
R, This is for Customer W. Kindly advise Aumi that we are unable to process until after May 2009. TQ
From: Kak R
Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 9:36 AM
To: Kak S; Yours truly
Cc: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.
Dear Aumi/Kak S,
As per Some AGM up there’s email below, we will only process until after May 2009.
So, Kak S process dulu ye.
TQ.
..see? See how screwed up this exercise is?
Oh.. oh, another one worth bitching:
From: Project Management AGM (PM AGM)
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 1:01 PM
To: Yours truly
Subject: RE: some 60M order
Sorry, Aumi but (some PM guy)
As per
After 1st May 2009, the ME project will be handed to TM Global (and not Enterprise Sales) and I hope you will invite TM Global team, (some Global guy)
TQ.
PM AGM
..and this email was sent after THIS email was sent EARLIER:
From: Planning AGM
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:53 AM
To: Yours truly; PM AGM
Subject: RE: some 60M order
Assalamualaikum & Salam Sejahtera,
I would suggest that you proceed with previous set-up arrangement for the sake of the company. At the same time, TM Global must be involved along the way so he can take over from there.
Knowing (some Global guy)
Madam PM AGM, hope you can assist in processing the order.
Thank you.
Salam Hormat & Wassalam.
WHAT A FUCKING JOKE MY COMPANY IS!
The thing is, I don't mind doing my existing files. But give me the fucking resources man! And does anyone actually realized, I haven't even start doing my new files! And my new AGM has been breathing down my neck to "go winover some deals for our team!"
..crap.
...i'll see you when you get there..
...5 persons you'll meet in heaven.
Yes, yes. I know. Others have read the book. I am kinda late.
But I made a wise decision to buy that book.
I was depressed, and I was thinking about all the bad stuffs that happened in my life.
Bought this book because I need some distraction. I always seek refuge from reading books. Yes, I am a nerd if you call reading nerdy.
Towards the fourth person, I was bawling my eyes out.
The moral that is obtained from each person really gets me thinking. Thinking of all the events that happened to you. It didn't just affects you; it affects others as well in ways that you never know.
So, for those who keeps on thinking that life ain't treating you right, and that all the shit that happened to you is caused by others around you, this is the perfect book for you to read. I would not guarantee that you'll have a complete turnaround or that this would change your life forever. But at least it'll get you thinking...
Yes, yes. I know. Others have read the book. I am kinda late.
But I made a wise decision to buy that book.
I was depressed, and I was thinking about all the bad stuffs that happened in my life.
Bought this book because I need some distraction. I always seek refuge from reading books. Yes, I am a nerd if you call reading nerdy.
Towards the fourth person, I was bawling my eyes out.
The moral that is obtained from each person really gets me thinking. Thinking of all the events that happened to you. It didn't just affects you; it affects others as well in ways that you never know.
So, for those who keeps on thinking that life ain't treating you right, and that all the shit that happened to you is caused by others around you, this is the perfect book for you to read. I would not guarantee that you'll have a complete turnaround or that this would change your life forever. But at least it'll get you thinking...
Monday, April 27, 2009
...thank you note to a backstabber.
..crappy.
I have been backstabbed before. But this one is sure one of the greatest feat ever.
I've tried my best watching my back. But this time around, I think they stabbed it using some invisible pitchfork, knives, or maybe it's the big forklift itself. I am just too blind.
Anyhow, too late to linger on it. You move on, backstabbers and what's not. You stab my back, I stab yours. With both hands.
I trust you as a friend, but this is actually being said of me behind my back. You have just made me lose perspective of my work, and whom I should trust. For that, I must thank you. Because, if it's not for you, I will continue to trust blindly, everybody, I am in good term with.
And thanks to you, I have regained my sense of suspiciousness with everything I had to deal with. I know that I need to keep my real friends close, and my enemies closer. Maybe that is what you were doing all these while; keeping me closer than any of your friends. Why didn't I see this, I don't know.
Thank you again.
I have been backstabbed before. But this one is sure one of the greatest feat ever.
I've tried my best watching my back. But this time around, I think they stabbed it using some invisible pitchfork, knives, or maybe it's the big forklift itself. I am just too blind.
Anyhow, too late to linger on it. You move on, backstabbers and what's not. You stab my back, I stab yours. With both hands.
I trust you as a friend, but this is actually being said of me behind my back. You have just made me lose perspective of my work, and whom I should trust. For that, I must thank you. Because, if it's not for you, I will continue to trust blindly, everybody, I am in good term with.
And thanks to you, I have regained my sense of suspiciousness with everything I had to deal with. I know that I need to keep my real friends close, and my enemies closer. Maybe that is what you were doing all these while; keeping me closer than any of your friends. Why didn't I see this, I don't know.
Thank you again.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
...where are you when I need you?
...kinda screwed up today.
Bulletproof vest not gonna work. I think they are going to use hand-grenade. I was expecting tommy-gun. Nope. They smell blood. I can feel it.
Was loading up ammo, but hey, we are on the defensive mode here. Better don't go firing back.
So, here I am, frantically trying to explain to the customer that hey, Murphy's Law is actually at work. Main and backup line not working at the same time. Nice.
Oh, and the new team that should be taking charge really hang me out to dry. I mean, hey, this is already in your jurisdiction, bitches! Why am I doing this for your benefits?
I mean, when it comes to damage control, I wonder why nobody stand on your side to back you up. You are on your own sucker.
When you have your back on the wall, you really have no way to go. To surrender is to submit. To submit is to admit defeat. And I seriously had done that so many times, I wonder whether I still have any shred of dignity left in me.
It is painful enough to have people slamming their door in front of your face. But it is even painful when they left you out cold. Nobody's gonna take you in. You end up sweeping the street and think "where the hell did I go wrong?"
Where the hell did I go wrong?
Bulletproof vest not gonna work. I think they are going to use hand-grenade. I was expecting tommy-gun. Nope. They smell blood. I can feel it.
Was loading up ammo, but hey, we are on the defensive mode here. Better don't go firing back.
So, here I am, frantically trying to explain to the customer that hey, Murphy's Law is actually at work. Main and backup line not working at the same time. Nice.
Oh, and the new team that should be taking charge really hang me out to dry. I mean, hey, this is already in your jurisdiction, bitches! Why am I doing this for your benefits?
I mean, when it comes to damage control, I wonder why nobody stand on your side to back you up. You are on your own sucker.
When you have your back on the wall, you really have no way to go. To surrender is to submit. To submit is to admit defeat. And I seriously had done that so many times, I wonder whether I still have any shred of dignity left in me.
It is painful enough to have people slamming their door in front of your face. But it is even painful when they left you out cold. Nobody's gonna take you in. You end up sweeping the street and think "where the hell did I go wrong?"
Where the hell did I go wrong?
...dead and gone...
...this part of the song is something I can relate to, especially with the current realignment of my company (the rest of the song is unrelated, some story about gangsterism). This chorus is about repenting; remembering the past but not to dwell too much in it, and to look forward to the future ahead...
Dead & Gone - T.I + J.T
=================
Oh,
I've been traveling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone
dead and gone...
I turn my head to the east
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
swallow that pill that they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
the new me will be alright...
Dead & Gone - T.I + J.T
=================
Oh,
I've been traveling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone
dead and gone...
I turn my head to the east
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
swallow that pill that they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
the new me will be alright...
...say my name, say my name...
...can people PLEASE pronounce my name correctly?!
I have my dad to blame. I mean, c'mon dad, why don't you just spell my name Umi? That would be easier on others! And I don't have to actually explain to others how to spell my name! GOD!
Back in uni, everybody has their own idea on how to say my name. Like, this one English tutor. She actually pronounced my name like this - AWUMI, the 'WU' part with her lips brought together, pointing upwards. Ugh! I have to restrain myself from smacking her smart-ass lips!!
Another, A-UMI. As in Ah Umi. What the fuck does that supposed to mean?
Some call me AYUMI. Especially my friends from Japan, or Japanese companies. This one is kind of flattering, since Ayumi is actually a very popular artist back in Japan. ;-) Oh, another actually called me YUMI. (Which reminds me when I was in Standard One, those bullies taunted me with this advert jingle "Sumi Jeli Manis"). One time, while in an airport, that lady at the ticketing counter actually looked at me twice and say "Oh, I thought you are a Japanese." Sorry babe, I turned out to be a JAVANESE.
It's even harder when I have to introduce myself to a stranger. They will go.. Awie? Auni? Awin? And I'll go "..whatever." Are you deaf or what?
The only time I think someone gets my name correct, is when my husband took his wedding oath in front of my dad. Yeah, try getting that wrong dear. Don't blame me if I scream someone else's name in bed..
..so much for having a unique name... at list there is a place bearing my name:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aumi
I have my dad to blame. I mean, c'mon dad, why don't you just spell my name Umi? That would be easier on others! And I don't have to actually explain to others how to spell my name! GOD!
Back in uni, everybody has their own idea on how to say my name. Like, this one English tutor. She actually pronounced my name like this - AWUMI, the 'WU' part with her lips brought together, pointing upwards. Ugh! I have to restrain myself from smacking her smart-ass lips!!
Another, A-UMI. As in Ah Umi. What the fuck does that supposed to mean?
Some call me AYUMI. Especially my friends from Japan, or Japanese companies. This one is kind of flattering, since Ayumi is actually a very popular artist back in Japan. ;-) Oh, another actually called me YUMI. (Which reminds me when I was in Standard One, those bullies taunted me with this advert jingle "Sumi Jeli Manis"). One time, while in an airport, that lady at the ticketing counter actually looked at me twice and say "Oh, I thought you are a Japanese." Sorry babe, I turned out to be a JAVANESE.
It's even harder when I have to introduce myself to a stranger. They will go.. Awie? Auni? Awin? And I'll go "..whatever." Are you deaf or what?
The only time I think someone gets my name correct, is when my husband took his wedding oath in front of my dad. Yeah, try getting that wrong dear. Don't blame me if I scream someone else's name in bed..
..so much for having a unique name... at list there is a place bearing my name:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aumi
Saturday, April 25, 2009
...too hot to blog.
...spent the whole morning shopping again. Lately it's the 'gold rush' shopping; yesterday was Poh Kong for a new bracelet, today it's Habib for a new ring. Call me old-fashioned, but hell, I love jewellery. Make sure each year I have a new piece. I mean, it doesn't have to be expensive. I don't buy flashy ones; as long as I love it and it cost not more than 2K a piece, I'm hooked.
Others love handbags. And shoes. Yes, I can tell. Coach, LV, or other European names that I can't even pronounce right. It's all around me; one person flashes her Coach which cost her 1K plus, another an LV purse. Another, Balenciaga shoes. Wow, pretty neat. Me? I settled for the 'cokia' ones, BATA. I showed up to work with a pair of BATA flats, and they said "That is SO AUMI." Nice. But hey, at least before I said it's BATA, you said they are nice and cute. Take that bitches. I got meself a nice, cheap, cute, BATA flats. Hahahaha..
And let's not even start with people splurging on hi-tech gadget. iPhone? For the love of God, in 3 months, they will have an updated version, and you will be crying all the way to the ATM machine to get one! And can you even turn your iPhone as a slingshot like I did with my Sony Ericcson when someone incur my wrath over a telephone conversation? I think NOT!
SLR camera? Oh please. As if you take BETTER pictures with more expensive lens? I mean, for those aspiring to be the next Saiful Nang, take note; if your picture gives you higher ROI, by all means, go ahead and indulge yourself. But if your pictures are equivalent to my 14-year-old brother's point-and-shoot gallery, go hang yourself. Please.
Why splurge on things that would be fashionable only for a season? Unless you are getting yourself a vintage LV monogram, or if it's a collectors item, then you get my respect hunny. Or else, please don't come and show off that 'thang' in front of my face...
Good taste doesn't have to be a popular brand. Or big flashy logos that equals your big inflated ego. People sometimes looked down on me just because I wear dowdy brands. So what? Do you lose an eyeball just by looking at my nameless handbag that I got from Tangs sales in Singapore? (Well, I hope you do). Does your skin burst with rashes when you touch my off-the-rack shirt from Another Ser? Or better still; does your head burst in flames when I told you I am not interested in buying Arianni headscarf which cost me RM75 a piece? No right?
So, why bother?
Others love handbags. And shoes. Yes, I can tell. Coach, LV, or other European names that I can't even pronounce right. It's all around me; one person flashes her Coach which cost her 1K plus, another an LV purse. Another, Balenciaga shoes. Wow, pretty neat. Me? I settled for the 'cokia' ones, BATA. I showed up to work with a pair of BATA flats, and they said "That is SO AUMI." Nice. But hey, at least before I said it's BATA, you said they are nice and cute. Take that bitches. I got meself a nice, cheap, cute, BATA flats. Hahahaha..
And let's not even start with people splurging on hi-tech gadget. iPhone? For the love of God, in 3 months, they will have an updated version, and you will be crying all the way to the ATM machine to get one! And can you even turn your iPhone as a slingshot like I did with my Sony Ericcson when someone incur my wrath over a telephone conversation? I think NOT!
SLR camera? Oh please. As if you take BETTER pictures with more expensive lens? I mean, for those aspiring to be the next Saiful Nang, take note; if your picture gives you higher ROI, by all means, go ahead and indulge yourself. But if your pictures are equivalent to my 14-year-old brother's point-and-shoot gallery, go hang yourself. Please.
Why splurge on things that would be fashionable only for a season? Unless you are getting yourself a vintage LV monogram, or if it's a collectors item, then you get my respect hunny. Or else, please don't come and show off that 'thang' in front of my face...
Good taste doesn't have to be a popular brand. Or big flashy logos that equals your big inflated ego. People sometimes looked down on me just because I wear dowdy brands. So what? Do you lose an eyeball just by looking at my nameless handbag that I got from Tangs sales in Singapore? (Well, I hope you do). Does your skin burst with rashes when you touch my off-the-rack shirt from Another Ser? Or better still; does your head burst in flames when I told you I am not interested in buying Arianni headscarf which cost me RM75 a piece? No right?
So, why bother?
Friday, April 24, 2009
...from the mind of a villain...
..can't sleep. Updated my facebook page. Took a few quizzes. Found out that if I am a villain, I am Godzilla. I don't get it. Godzilla is not a villain..she is always misunderstood. I mean, if you are a lizard exposed to, what, some nuclear ray, which causes you to mutate, which is not even your wrongdoing in the first place, you are sure to be pissed. You can't help it. Someone screwed you up and expect you to quietly go? And if you don't, they'll shoot you down?
See, even in movies, people (in this case, a monster) is always treated unfairly.
You see, in life, people take roles. Sometimes you're the good guys, at times you're the bad ones. The villains. But villains, they actually have a purpose in life. No villains, no heroes. Superheroes would not find any reason to prance around in tight outfits. (Note: some people gets away with wearing undies on the outside. If we mortals do that, we are sure condemned in Youtube for eternity).
You see, these villains, they serve the egos of the superheroes. They get to smack the villains up. Whip their ass. Crash buildings. Hell. Have you ever seen Ultraman? That one selfish s-o-b. He fights the monster in the city, crash the buildings, well, eventually dispose the monster, but he gets all the credits. When I was a kid, I kind of enjoy watching him fire off his laser beams; be it from his forehead, or just by simply crossing his arms. As I grew older, a wave of suspicion comes along. Hmm..Tokyo sure has a mighty rich and effective townboard or city council. Everytime there's an attack, which obviously tears the whole city down, but in the next episode, lo and behold, as if nothing ever happened. And yeah, their evacuation plan is superb. Seen any crushed human bodies? Nope. Clean as a whistle. I have just lost my home, my entire life-savings, and my only assets in a fight between Ultraman and another Gorgonites! Yeay! Doesn't matter!! Ultraman saves the day!!
To note; Insurance company will have a field day trying to outsell insurance plan to cover monster-fights in the city. Plan differs with type of villains/monster. Take your pick. Oh sorry, your plan only cover this monster from Gorgon planets. No, this fight is with Godzilla. Tough luck dude.
And yeah. One more thing. Superheroes are always created with the perfect body. Six packs. D-cup size boobs for the superheroines. Hair that is always immaculately styled. Manicured fingers. Outfits that rivals the kings and queens of the world. And yes, one of them can actually morphed (that's the term for changing outfits in a huffy) in 0.005 seconds. And the villains? They are stuck with scaly skins, red bulging eyes, yellow jagged teeth, horns, thorns, man, name it, they have them all. And their movements? Static. You have these agile superheroes back-flipping, doing cartwheels, jumping as if they are born with a spring in their legs. And the 'V's? WAARRGHH.... waving arms (man, are those really hands or just a pair of flippers in oven mitts?) up and down. As if that is the only move they are born with. No wonder they are pissed even more!
And if you realized, superheroes are actually sadistic. I mean, you Voltron, you have a mighty sword. But hey, do you have to smack the villains up, fire your lions' head, and finally, after like, an eternity, take them out with your sword? Why can't you have mercy and put them out of their misery? Please.
C'mon, serve them justice! Give them a sexy outlook for once. Put them in a pair of thongs for a change! (At least that will make their scary scales look harmless). For every superheroes, there should be an Angelina Jolie-like supervillains!
...time to get some sleep.
See, even in movies, people (in this case, a monster) is always treated unfairly.
You see, in life, people take roles. Sometimes you're the good guys, at times you're the bad ones. The villains. But villains, they actually have a purpose in life. No villains, no heroes. Superheroes would not find any reason to prance around in tight outfits. (Note: some people gets away with wearing undies on the outside. If we mortals do that, we are sure condemned in Youtube for eternity).
You see, these villains, they serve the egos of the superheroes. They get to smack the villains up. Whip their ass. Crash buildings. Hell. Have you ever seen Ultraman? That one selfish s-o-b. He fights the monster in the city, crash the buildings, well, eventually dispose the monster, but he gets all the credits. When I was a kid, I kind of enjoy watching him fire off his laser beams; be it from his forehead, or just by simply crossing his arms. As I grew older, a wave of suspicion comes along. Hmm..Tokyo sure has a mighty rich and effective townboard or city council. Everytime there's an attack, which obviously tears the whole city down, but in the next episode, lo and behold, as if nothing ever happened. And yeah, their evacuation plan is superb. Seen any crushed human bodies? Nope. Clean as a whistle. I have just lost my home, my entire life-savings, and my only assets in a fight between Ultraman and another Gorgonites! Yeay! Doesn't matter!! Ultraman saves the day!!
To note; Insurance company will have a field day trying to outsell insurance plan to cover monster-fights in the city. Plan differs with type of villains/monster. Take your pick. Oh sorry, your plan only cover this monster from Gorgon planets. No, this fight is with Godzilla. Tough luck dude.
And yeah. One more thing. Superheroes are always created with the perfect body. Six packs. D-cup size boobs for the superheroines. Hair that is always immaculately styled. Manicured fingers. Outfits that rivals the kings and queens of the world. And yes, one of them can actually morphed (that's the term for changing outfits in a huffy) in 0.005 seconds. And the villains? They are stuck with scaly skins, red bulging eyes, yellow jagged teeth, horns, thorns, man, name it, they have them all. And their movements? Static. You have these agile superheroes back-flipping, doing cartwheels, jumping as if they are born with a spring in their legs. And the 'V's? WAARRGHH.... waving arms (man, are those really hands or just a pair of flippers in oven mitts?) up and down. As if that is the only move they are born with. No wonder they are pissed even more!
And if you realized, superheroes are actually sadistic. I mean, you Voltron, you have a mighty sword. But hey, do you have to smack the villains up, fire your lions' head, and finally, after like, an eternity, take them out with your sword? Why can't you have mercy and put them out of their misery? Please.
C'mon, serve them justice! Give them a sexy outlook for once. Put them in a pair of thongs for a change! (At least that will make their scary scales look harmless). For every superheroes, there should be an Angelina Jolie-like supervillains!
...time to get some sleep.
...mindless post numero uno.
7.23 pm.
Left office, exasperated. At times considering suicide. Seek help from a friend to get a .38 but to no avail (I guess that guy must have thought that I was joking).
It was a typical day in the office; came in late, read emails, rush for a quick breakfast. Hey ho. I am ready to conquer the world!
Bullshit.
Towards the end of the day I end up crying my heart out. Work-related stress.. Maybe because I was having my period that day. First day, mood swing like a pendulum. Left and right, non-stop. At times you thought of quitting but you know when you quit you are better off dead.
Thinking of calling friends. Maybe this one will listen. Nope. She's busy. Not picking up. Try another friend. Nope, this person is also as screwed-up like me. Oh, this friend might be able to help. Towards the end of the conversation, this person actually said - "Hey, I guess you can actually work this out on your own." Nice touch there buddy. I will say that to you when you call me for advise later. Another, I couldn't even bother to ask. The standard response.."Hmm.."
So in the end, time to hit the 'Stop' button. Hey, people ain't gonna be there for you all the time, bitch. Move on.
One guy told me that I should never have expectation on other people. Or to expect any kind of return. Ikhlas, the Muslim Malays would say. Sincerity. OK..
I found myself a new best friend - an unlit cigarette - my attempt to start an unnecessary and wasteful habit of smoking.
It's just a matter of time before I took that fateful whiff, and then decide whether this is a good friend or not. At least I can pretend that the cigarette butt will listen to my problem. I told my husband I'm going to start smoking. He even jokes about it - "Go green honey, let's do grass". He thinks I am not going to do it. Boy, you'll be surprised...
To fellow smokers out there, rejoice! I'll be joining you in the pantries, staircases, sidewalk, smoking-areas in restaurants. Hell, my hotel room preferences after this will be 'Smoking Rooms'.
...
Left office, exasperated. At times considering suicide. Seek help from a friend to get a .38 but to no avail (I guess that guy must have thought that I was joking).
It was a typical day in the office; came in late, read emails, rush for a quick breakfast. Hey ho. I am ready to conquer the world!
Bullshit.
Towards the end of the day I end up crying my heart out. Work-related stress.. Maybe because I was having my period that day. First day, mood swing like a pendulum. Left and right, non-stop. At times you thought of quitting but you know when you quit you are better off dead.
Thinking of calling friends. Maybe this one will listen. Nope. She's busy. Not picking up. Try another friend. Nope, this person is also as screwed-up like me. Oh, this friend might be able to help. Towards the end of the conversation, this person actually said - "Hey, I guess you can actually work this out on your own." Nice touch there buddy. I will say that to you when you call me for advise later. Another, I couldn't even bother to ask. The standard response.."Hmm.."
So in the end, time to hit the 'Stop' button. Hey, people ain't gonna be there for you all the time, bitch. Move on.
One guy told me that I should never have expectation on other people. Or to expect any kind of return. Ikhlas, the Muslim Malays would say. Sincerity. OK..
I found myself a new best friend - an unlit cigarette - my attempt to start an unnecessary and wasteful habit of smoking.
It's just a matter of time before I took that fateful whiff, and then decide whether this is a good friend or not. At least I can pretend that the cigarette butt will listen to my problem. I told my husband I'm going to start smoking. He even jokes about it - "Go green honey, let's do grass". He thinks I am not going to do it. Boy, you'll be surprised...
To fellow smokers out there, rejoice! I'll be joining you in the pantries, staircases, sidewalk, smoking-areas in restaurants. Hell, my hotel room preferences after this will be 'Smoking Rooms'.
...
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