Monday, May 11, 2009

...I will survive~!!

...harrassed at work. Is there anything new?

This song is dedicated to my ex-service Engineer, whoever you are. A bit of rewording :P:

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking
I could never live without you by my side

But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how I'd done you wrong
And I grew strong
I learned how to PLAY along

So now you're back
From outer space
I just log on to find you here
With that email subject in my Outlook page
I should have changed my fucking job
I would have made you leave your shit
If I'd have known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with your derrier!
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know where to work I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces
Of my broken GUT
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for yourself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me
With somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in need of you
And so you thought you'd just drop by
And you expect me to leave thee
But now I'm saving all my I-CHECK
For someone who'll work with me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with your derrier!
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know WHERE to work I know I'll be alive
I've got all my live to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

for original lyrics please visit http://www.lyrics007.com/

Saturday, May 9, 2009

..eat and be merry...

...at home.

Basically spent the whole day in bed. Thinking. Imagening. God-knows-what.

Had lunch. Nice one. Spent 82 bucks on lunch. What I appreciated the most is the privacy we had. Groovy background songs. Cosy bedseat for Amir.

To sum lunch:

Good food RM60++
Sweet and heavenly desert RM12++
The look on the waiter's face when I footed the bill = PRICELESS

Hahahahahahah...

Alah, who cares about who's paying what. Give and take. I was the one who picked the place anyway. *wink*

But when it comes to food I don't really care about the price tag. As long as I can enjoy the food and the company then fine with me. Mind you takde la buat hari-hari... oh, and mind you kena la ada budget kalau nak buat gini yep. Tak main la bayar pakai kad kredit kalau makan. Semuanya TUNAI...

But I am not the type yang kalau nak minum kopi kena beli Starbucks (tak macam Amir, dia hanya minum Starbucks). It's not the brand. But it's more on the value that comes with it. Ewah, kemain poyo.

..so off to Cold Storage for some grocery shopping.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

...pesanan penaja...

..bosan.

Settlekan duit workshop. 2K plus plus. Aku cakap dengan Amir aku charge interest. Dia mintak aku bagi ikut rate Al-Rajhi; 0.08%. Ewah, siapa banker ni? Aku mintak dia settlekan dalam masa 10 bulan. Aku rasa tu dah cukup adil. Sebenarnya kalau ikut jiwa jahat ni aku nak suruh dia bayar dalam masa 3 bulan. PLUS interest rate ikut minggu. Tapi aku rasa cukup la aku buli dia for the next 10 months ni dengan kerja rumah.

Dia offer bayar balik RM2100. Aku rasa tak cukup tu. Aku rasa aku nak charge dia service charge sekali. Sebab aku pakai savings aku kan, so aku dah rugi in terms of annual dividend aku kat bank tu. Lagi kalau ade risiko lambat bayar. Hmmm...

Ok, I know people will say dengan husband sendiri pun nak berkira. Sebenarnya kawan-kawan, dengan husband la anda patut berkira.

You see, some husbands cannot handle money well. Amir is unfortunate to be in that group. Some of the expenses cannot be traced. Dia tak boleh berniaga. Cepat bungkus. (Sorry Amir but that's the truth.) As a wife, you should be the place where he can fall back on. BUT, you must make sure that your husband doesn't take your kindness for granted.

And there is never such a word "Duit ayang duit abang jugak." NEVER. You see, memang la kalau ikutkan duit isteri kena bagi pada husband, sebab dia bagi izin untuk kita bekerja. Tapi pada aku, that doesn't make any sense at all IF your husband is a bad financial planner. Be ruthless; at least when we impose certain rule, he will understand that there is no waiver or exemption when it comes to borrowing money from your spouse.

Treat your home finance exactly like a business finance. OPEX should be controlled, kalau burst pun patutnya dalam 10% still acceptable. CAPEX should be monitored. CAPEX and OPEX should be planned one year in advance; hence aku tangguh beli Honda City sebab masih ada cost untuk Iswara. Which is unwise kalau aku nak tambah CAPEX tapi aku nye combined annual income masih sama. Savings kena ada; especially utk case emergency. Set a bit of petty cash untuk barang dapur; even though barang dapur ialah OPEX tapi kena ada allocation untuk urgent expenditure - contoh kalau mak / mak mentua datang. Ataupun tetiba kena bawak the whole family pi makan2 kat luar.

Nak hadiah harijadi? Boleh. Since dah tau spouse punya birthday, simpan duit la at least 3 bulan dari bulan birthday tu. Nak impress spouse tapi budget tak ada. Cemana...

And satu lagi kesilapan orang dah kawin ni tak set aside budget untuk entertainment. Hello, dah kawin pun bukan sebab untuk tak pi tengok wayang, karaoke dan berjalan2. Kita tau la nak buat spontaneous punya surprise (jom pi PD) tapi kalau kereta tu boleh berjalan pakai air, go ahead la. Kalau tak, berdayung la anda pi PD tu ye. Jangan lupa bawak IC, nanti orang ingat PATI.

So, to Amir, please ensure that the standing instruction is made from your salary account direct to my Tabung Haji for RM225 each month.

Oh, please niat extra interest as 'hadiah'.. heh heh..

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

...come to think of it...

...setiap kali dengar lagu ni memang tangkap leleh la.

Aku dengan Amir dah banyak sejarah. Dari umo 19 sampai la umo nak masuk 28. Lama. Paling lama aku boleh gaduh dengan dia 3 hari. Tu pun susah sebab dia ni memang muka tak tau malu. Even kalau aku marah dengan dia, sanggup dia tunggu aku depan rumah sewa masa aku kat MMU dulu. Dia kata, nampak rumah pun tak apalah. (Now come to think of it aku rasa Amir psycho. Cemana aku leh tak perasan.. demmm...)

Kalau aku clash dengan dia pun (biasanya time aku period, mood swing), rajin lagi dia pergi public phone booth tu call hp aku. (Zaman dulu tak mampu macam kawan2 lain yang dah ada handphone). Tu pulak sebab nak dengar suara. Lagi la psycho. Kalau gaduh dengan Amir aku tak nak pergi kelas dengan dia. Duduk pun jauh-jauh. Tapi dia akan make sure dia nampak jugak muka aku dalam lecture hall tu. (Itu petanda psycho nombor 3).

Aku pernah jugak suruh dia habiskan makan malam sebab dia order mende yang aku tak nak makan. Bayangkan dia kena makan food dia dengan food aku. Aku make sure tak ada berbaki pun. Senak jangan cerita, tapi aku peduli apa. Macam tu pun dia masih lagi ajak aku makan malam2 lain.

Aku pernah maki dia depan orang.

Aku pernah maki dia dalam telephone.

Aku pernah maki dia dalam IM.

Aku pernah dating dengan ex-boyfriend aku semata-mata nak buat dia sakit hati.

Aku pernah lari balik KL tak bagitau dia. Tau-tau hilang. Dia punya huru hara jangan cerita la.

Tak jalan jugak...

So.. untuk itu, aku postkan lagu Beyonce Flaws and All untuk Amir (yang psycho):

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you

I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever-complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love..

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need a attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that

I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love..you.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

...you're like a rocket in my mind?

...pagi pagi berdiri dalam LRT. Body kecil orang himpit suka hati. Mula-mula cuma rasa sakit hati. Lama-lama tak tahan macam ini. Aku tolak brader dengan tangan kiri. Rupa-rupanya awek dia berdiri di sisi! Terus dia peluk lengan itu laki laki... he he he...

...sampai ofis muka aku macam udang. (Udang goreng campur dengan kueytiaw kerang.) Jalan kaki muka kena tunjuk garang. Jumpa orang macam mahu lawan pedang. Dalam kepala cuma ingat bantal panjang. Kereta rosak tidur malam pun tak senang.

...tengok email panjang berjela-jela. Tengok miscall macam kerja tangkap naga. Kiri kanan orang cari merata-rata. Tengok meja macam sarang ular sawa. Tengok sms boss bunyi macam puaka. "Mintak pricing internal cabling ini hari juga!". Kalau maki nanti aku juga yang kena.

...masuk meeting sedia senyum penuh pipi. Dalam hati tompok hitam macam daki. Aku niat cuci tangan dengan kaki. Rupanya "no available process at the other party". Aku rasa aku sudah kena badi. Sudah masa tukar mode "King Kong Bundy".

...waktu makan aku tidur dalam surau. Mata pejam tapi otak masih melilau. Itu tanda orang memang jiwa kacau. Rasa macam nak lari pergi pulau. Cuti panjang tak ada siapa boleh berkicau.

...petang sikit aku mula cuci mata. MSN, Wonderwall, buka blog buat cerita. Kerja banyak tapi aku bosan gila. Yang pasti meeting cancel aku gembira!

...dan ini hanya sehingga jam tiga~!!!

...illness of the heart...

1.11 am.

Working. From where I sit, I can actually hear Amir snoring from the back room. Strange that he chose to sleep in that room alone. Oh well. Not the first time anyway. Maybe he is giving me some space tonight...

It has been an interesting day (at the beginning). I got invited for the Teh Tarik session with Dato' CEO. When I first got the itinerary, I was saying, what the hell? Half a day? How many glasses of Teh Tarik can we stomach? Well, towards the end of the session, it's only two glasses. And yeah, they served nasi lemak and kuih too. So Malaysian. (Note to organizer; Rendang pedas gile. Nasi lemak ok-ok la. Kuih karipap saya tak suka. Teh tarik layannnnnn...)

We got to take group pictures with him (since I am dressed-up to the nine today, I got to sit next to him...ahem). Chit chatting on Group direction... yada yada yada (I'm half-listening anyway). Then the highlight of the session; take personal picture with Dato at his desk, and we got to sit on his seat! (not on his lap...ngeh ngeh...as if.) Someone commented that I looked like a CEO of a cosmetic company. Hey, I'm flattered. The other ladies were dressed up typically in baju kurung. Sape suruh, nampak macam makcik2. Mesti tak bergaya dalam gambar tu. HAHAHAHAHAHA...

But it was then marred by a text message...some screwed-up shit happened...

My first reaction to this text message was, disbelief. Then, anger striked. Called abah first. Expressed disappointment over matter. He said "Ini ujian untuk kau, As." Not enough consolation. Still angry. Called sender of text message. Tried be objective and solve the problem.

Problem partially solved. Go home happy. Can't wait to see sender of text message to tell him of my session today!

Logon to facebook. Nice. Sender of text message actually updated his 'What's on your mind?', saying about the screwed up thing that he texted me this afternoon at work. And yes, some other comments by his friends too. Suddenly, temper flares (something to do with insensitiveness of sender of text message's friends). Avoid sender of text message at home. Prefer not to even eat, nor talk with the sender of text message. In the end, sender of text message chose to sleep in the spare room.

You see, domestic argument is ugly. I am short- tempered. Before, it would end up with heated oral arguments. After 5 years, I just keep my mouth shut. The less I said, the better. Yes, I am angry for some reason. But argument doesn't work anymore for me. He hates my reasoning, saying that all I wanted is to have it my way. I hate his tendencies to stop mid-argument, putting his hands up even before a consensus was reached.

So what is the next best thing? You just look away.

..and just look away.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

...some realigment, huh?

..not that I have no work to do.. but hell, must get this out of my system NOW.

Ok, this is pure logic. If you are in my place what will you do?

Realignment. Yes. That's right. The time when you start creating more post than eliminating unwanted ones. Which defeats the purpose, if you ask me. But hey, I am just a KULI.

But anyhow, that is not my problem. My problem is what comes out of this stupid exercise.

New LOB - Line Of Business. Under new LOB, we have SME, Enterprise and God-knows-what. Some SME customers being upgraded to Enterprise based on current revenue contribution. Now, supposed to take effect 1st April 2009.

So, new requirement for upgraded customer beginning 1st April 2009 goes to?
A) SME
B) Enterprise
C) ...nowhere?

...if your answer is B, you are wrong.

If your answer is A, you are ALSO wrong. The answer is.. C.

Why?

SME won't take new requirements. New requirements need new budget. SME has no budget. Processing of new orders? Nope. SME has no resources to do so. As far as SME is concerned, this customer is no longer with SME.

Enterprise? This is, I quote, the email I got when I forwarded the new request to the new AM;

From: Yours truly
Sent: Fri 4/24/2009 11:49 AM
To: Kak S, Kak R
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Ladies, Possible to start working on this request? Aumi.

From: Kak S
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 2:52 PM
To: Yours truly; Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Aumi.. thanks.. Kak R, Kindly proceed with the request..


From: Kak R
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 4:53 PM
To: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Puan,Should I proceed with the request? TQ.

From: Some AGM up there
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 7:02 PM
To: Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

R, This is for Customer W. Kindly advise Aumi that we are unable to process until after May 2009. TQ

From: Kak R
Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 9:36 AM
To: Kak S; Yours truly
Cc: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Dear Aumi/Kak S,
As per Some AGM up there’s email below, we will only process until after May 2009.
So, Kak S process dulu ye.

TQ.

..see? See how screwed up this exercise is?

Oh.. oh, another one worth bitching:

From: Project Management AGM (PM AGM)
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 1:01 PM
To: Yours truly
Subject: RE: some 60M order

Sorry, Aumi but (some PM guy) is tied up with other projects.

As per email, you will refer to existing SE, (some SE guy), [editor's note: which no longer reports to SME unit anyway].

After 1st May 2009, the ME project will be handed to TM Global (and not Enterprise Sales) and I hope you will invite TM Global team, (some Global guy) during the kick-off meeting.

TQ.

PM AGM


..and this email was sent after THIS email was sent EARLIER:

From: Planning AGM
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:53 AM
To: Yours truly; PM AGM
Subject: RE: some 60M order

Assalamualaikum & Salam Sejahtera,

I would suggest that you proceed with previous set-up arrangement for the sake of the company. At the same time, TM Global must be involved along the way so he can take over from there.

Knowing (some Global guy), he will give his fullest cooperation also for the sake of TM.

Madam PM AGM, hope you can assist in processing the order.

Thank you.

Salam Hormat & Wassalam.


WHAT A FUCKING JOKE MY COMPANY IS!

The thing is, I don't mind doing my existing files. But give me the fucking resources man! And does anyone actually realized, I haven't even start doing my new files! And my new AGM has been breathing down my neck to "go winover some deals for our team!"

..crap.