...some realigment, huh?

..not that I have no work to do.. but hell, must get this out of my system NOW.

Ok, this is pure logic. If you are in my place what will you do?

Realignment. Yes. That's right. The time when you start creating more post than eliminating unwanted ones. Which defeats the purpose, if you ask me. But hey, I am just a KULI.

But anyhow, that is not my problem. My problem is what comes out of this stupid exercise.

New LOB - Line Of Business. Under new LOB, we have SME, Enterprise and God-knows-what. Some SME customers being upgraded to Enterprise based on current revenue contribution. Now, supposed to take effect 1st April 2009.

So, new requirement for upgraded customer beginning 1st April 2009 goes to?
A) SME
B) Enterprise
C) ...nowhere?

...if your answer is B, you are wrong.

If your answer is A, you are ALSO wrong. The answer is.. C.

Why?

SME won't take new requirements. New requirements need new budget. SME has no budget. Processing of new orders? Nope. SME has no resources to do so. As far as SME is concerned, this customer is no longer with SME.

Enterprise? This is, I quote, the email I got when I forwarded the new request to the new AM;

From: Yours truly
Sent: Fri 4/24/2009 11:49 AM
To: Kak S, Kak R
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Ladies, Possible to start working on this request? Aumi.

From: Kak S
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 2:52 PM
To: Yours truly; Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Aumi.. thanks.. Kak R, Kindly proceed with the request..


From: Kak R
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 4:53 PM
To: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Puan,Should I proceed with the request? TQ.

From: Some AGM up there
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 7:02 PM
To: Kak R
Subject: RE: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

R, This is for Customer W. Kindly advise Aumi that we are unable to process until after May 2009. TQ

From: Kak R
Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 9:36 AM
To: Kak S; Yours truly
Cc: Some AGM up there
Subject: FW: Application of temporary line @ 1Utama and Print screen of terminated accounts.

Dear Aumi/Kak S,
As per Some AGM up there’s email below, we will only process until after May 2009.
So, Kak S process dulu ye.

TQ.

..see? See how screwed up this exercise is?

Oh.. oh, another one worth bitching:

From: Project Management AGM (PM AGM)
Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 1:01 PM
To: Yours truly
Subject: RE: some 60M order

Sorry, Aumi but (some PM guy) is tied up with other projects.

As per email, you will refer to existing SE, (some SE guy), [editor's note: which no longer reports to SME unit anyway].

After 1st May 2009, the ME project will be handed to TM Global (and not Enterprise Sales) and I hope you will invite TM Global team, (some Global guy) during the kick-off meeting.

TQ.

PM AGM

..and this email was sent after THIS email was sent EARLIER:

From: Planning AGM
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:53 AM
To: Yours truly; PM AGM
Subject: RE: some 60M order

Assalamualaikum & Salam Sejahtera,

I would suggest that you proceed with previous set-up arrangement for the sake of the company. At the same time, TM Global must be involved along the way so he can take over from there.

Knowing (some Global guy), he will give his fullest cooperation also for the sake of TM.

Madam PM AGM, hope you can assist in processing the order.

Thank you.

Salam Hormat & Wassalam.

WHAT A FUCKING JOKE MY COMPANY IS!

The thing is, I don't mind doing my existing files. But give me the fucking resources man! And does anyone actually realized, I haven't even start doing my new files! And my new AGM has been breathing down my neck to "go winover some deals for our team!"

..crap.

...i'll see you when you get there..

...5 persons you'll meet in heaven.



Yes, yes. I know. Others have read the book. I am kinda late.



But I made a wise decision to buy that book.



I was depressed, and I was thinking about all the bad stuffs that happened in my life.



Bought this book because I need some distraction. I always seek refuge from reading books. Yes, I am a nerd if you call reading nerdy.



Towards the fourth person, I was bawling my eyes out.



The moral that is obtained from each person really gets me thinking. Thinking of all the events that happened to you. It didn't just affects you; it affects others as well in ways that you never know.

So, for those who keeps on thinking that life ain't treating you right, and that all the shit that happened to you is caused by others around you, this is the perfect book for you to read. I would not guarantee that you'll have a complete turnaround or that this would change your life forever. But at least it'll get you thinking...

...thank you note to a backstabber.

..crappy.

I have been backstabbed before. But this one is sure one of the greatest feat ever.

I've tried my best watching my back. But this time around, I think they stabbed it using some invisible pitchfork, knives, or maybe it's the big forklift itself. I am just too blind.

Anyhow, too late to linger on it. You move on, backstabbers and what's not. You stab my back, I stab yours. With both hands.

I trust you as a friend, but this is actually being said of me behind my back. You have just made me lose perspective of my work, and whom I should trust. For that, I must thank you. Because, if it's not for you, I will continue to trust blindly, everybody, I am in good term with.

And thanks to you, I have regained my sense of suspiciousness with everything I had to deal with. I know that I need to keep my real friends close, and my enemies closer. Maybe that is what you were doing all these while; keeping me closer than any of your friends. Why didn't I see this, I don't know.

Thank you again.

...where are you when I need you?

...kinda screwed up today.

Bulletproof vest not gonna work. I think they are going to use hand-grenade. I was expecting tommy-gun. Nope. They smell blood. I can feel it.

Was loading up ammo, but hey, we are on the defensive mode here. Better don't go firing back.

So, here I am, frantically trying to explain to the customer that hey, Murphy's Law is actually at work. Main and backup line not working at the same time. Nice.

Oh, and the new team that should be taking charge really hang me out to dry. I mean, hey, this is already in your jurisdiction, bitches! Why am I doing this for your benefits?

I mean, when it comes to damage control, I wonder why nobody stand on your side to back you up. You are on your own sucker.

When you have your back on the wall, you really have no way to go. To surrender is to submit. To submit is to admit defeat. And I seriously had done that so many times, I wonder whether I still have any shred of dignity left in me.

It is painful enough to have people slamming their door in front of your face. But it is even painful when they left you out cold. Nobody's gonna take you in. You end up sweeping the street and think "where the hell did I go wrong?"

Where the hell did I go wrong?

...dead and gone...

...this part of the song is something I can relate to, especially with the current realignment of my company (the rest of the song is unrelated, some story about gangsterism). This chorus is about repenting; remembering the past but not to dwell too much in it, and to look forward to the future ahead...

Dead & Gone - T.I + J.T
=================

Oh,
I've been traveling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone
dead and gone...

I turn my head to the east
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
still nobody in sight

So I turn my head to the north,
swallow that pill that they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
the new me will be alright...

...say my name, say my name...

...can people PLEASE pronounce my name correctly?!

I have my dad to blame. I mean, c'mon dad, why don't you just spell my name Umi? That would be easier on others! And I don't have to actually explain to others how to spell my name! GOD!

Back in uni, everybody has their own idea on how to say my name. Like, this one English tutor. She actually pronounced my name like this - AWUMI, the 'WU' part with her lips brought together, pointing upwards. Ugh! I have to restrain myself from smacking her smart-ass lips!!

Another, A-UMI. As in Ah Umi. What the fuck does that supposed to mean?

Some call me AYUMI. Especially my friends from Japan, or Japanese companies. This one is kind of flattering, since Ayumi is actually a very popular artist back in Japan. ;-) Oh, another actually called me YUMI. (Which reminds me when I was in Standard One, those bullies taunted me with this advert jingle "Sumi Jeli Manis"). One time, while in an airport, that lady at the ticketing counter actually looked at me twice and say "Oh, I thought you are a Japanese." Sorry babe, I turned out to be a JAVANESE.

It's even harder when I have to introduce myself to a stranger. They will go.. Awie? Auni? Awin? And I'll go "..whatever." Are you deaf or what?

The only time I think someone gets my name correct, is when my husband took his wedding oath in front of my dad. Yeah, try getting that wrong dear. Don't blame me if I scream someone else's name in bed..

..so much for having a unique name... at list there is a place bearing my name:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aumi

...too hot to blog.

...spent the whole morning shopping again. Lately it's the 'gold rush' shopping; yesterday was Poh Kong for a new bracelet, today it's Habib for a new ring. Call me old-fashioned, but hell, I love jewellery. Make sure each year I have a new piece. I mean, it doesn't have to be expensive. I don't buy flashy ones; as long as I love it and it cost not more than 2K a piece, I'm hooked.

Others love handbags. And shoes. Yes, I can tell. Coach, LV, or other European names that I can't even pronounce right. It's all around me; one person flashes her Coach which cost her 1K plus, another an LV purse. Another, Balenciaga shoes. Wow, pretty neat. Me? I settled for the 'cokia' ones, BATA. I showed up to work with a pair of BATA flats, and they said "That is SO AUMI." Nice. But hey, at least before I said it's BATA, you said they are nice and cute. Take that bitches. I got meself a nice, cheap, cute, BATA flats. Hahahaha..

And let's not even start with people splurging on hi-tech gadget. iPhone? For the love of God, in 3 months, they will have an updated version, and you will be crying all the way to the ATM machine to get one! And can you even turn your iPhone as a slingshot like I did with my Sony Ericcson when someone incur my wrath over a telephone conversation? I think NOT!

SLR camera? Oh please. As if you take BETTER pictures with more expensive lens? I mean, for those aspiring to be the next Saiful Nang, take note; if your picture gives you higher ROI, by all means, go ahead and indulge yourself. But if your pictures are equivalent to my 14-year-old brother's point-and-shoot gallery, go hang yourself. Please.

Why splurge on things that would be fashionable only for a season? Unless you are getting yourself a vintage LV monogram, or if it's a collectors item, then you get my respect hunny. Or else, please don't come and show off that 'thang' in front of my face...

Good taste doesn't have to be a popular brand. Or big flashy logos that equals your big inflated ego. People sometimes looked down on me just because I wear dowdy brands. So what? Do you lose an eyeball just by looking at my nameless handbag that I got from Tangs sales in Singapore? (Well, I hope you do). Does your skin burst with rashes when you touch my off-the-rack shirt from Another Ser? Or better still; does your head burst in flames when I told you I am not interested in buying Arianni headscarf which cost me RM75 a piece? No right?

So, why bother?

...from the mind of a villain...

..can't sleep. Updated my facebook page. Took a few quizzes. Found out that if I am a villain, I am Godzilla. I don't get it. Godzilla is not a villain..she is always misunderstood. I mean, if you are a lizard exposed to, what, some nuclear ray, which causes you to mutate, which is not even your wrongdoing in the first place, you are sure to be pissed. You can't help it. Someone screwed you up and expect you to quietly go? And if you don't, they'll shoot you down?

See, even in movies, people (in this case, a monster) is always treated unfairly.

You see, in life, people take roles. Sometimes you're the good guys, at times you're the bad ones. The villains. But villains, they actually have a purpose in life. No villains, no heroes. Superheroes would not find any reason to prance around in tight outfits. (Note: some people gets away with wearing undies on the outside. If we mortals do that, we are sure condemned in Youtube for eternity).

You see, these villains, they serve the egos of the superheroes. They get to smack the villains up. Whip their ass. Crash buildings. Hell. Have you ever seen Ultraman? That one selfish s-o-b. He fights the monster in the city, crash the buildings, well, eventually dispose the monster, but he gets all the credits. When I was a kid, I kind of enjoy watching him fire off his laser beams; be it from his forehead, or just by simply crossing his arms. As I grew older, a wave of suspicion comes along. Hmm..Tokyo sure has a mighty rich and effective townboard or city council. Everytime there's an attack, which obviously tears the whole city down, but in the next episode, lo and behold, as if nothing ever happened. And yeah, their evacuation plan is superb. Seen any crushed human bodies? Nope. Clean as a whistle. I have just lost my home, my entire life-savings, and my only assets in a fight between Ultraman and another Gorgonites! Yeay! Doesn't matter!! Ultraman saves the day!!

To note; Insurance company will have a field day trying to outsell insurance plan to cover monster-fights in the city. Plan differs with type of villains/monster. Take your pick. Oh sorry, your plan only cover this monster from Gorgon planets. No, this fight is with Godzilla. Tough luck dude.

And yeah. One more thing. Superheroes are always created with the perfect body. Six packs. D-cup size boobs for the superheroines. Hair that is always immaculately styled. Manicured fingers. Outfits that rivals the kings and queens of the world. And yes, one of them can actually morphed (that's the term for changing outfits in a huffy) in 0.005 seconds. And the villains? They are stuck with scaly skins, red bulging eyes, yellow jagged teeth, horns, thorns, man, name it, they have them all. And their movements? Static. You have these agile superheroes back-flipping, doing cartwheels, jumping as if they are born with a spring in their legs. And the 'V's? WAARRGHH.... waving arms (man, are those really hands or just a pair of flippers in oven mitts?) up and down. As if that is the only move they are born with. No wonder they are pissed even more!

And if you realized, superheroes are actually sadistic. I mean, you Voltron, you have a mighty sword. But hey, do you have to smack the villains up, fire your lions' head, and finally, after like, an eternity, take them out with your sword? Why can't you have mercy and put them out of their misery? Please.

C'mon, serve them justice! Give them a sexy outlook for once. Put them in a pair of thongs for a change! (At least that will make their scary scales look harmless). For every superheroes, there should be an Angelina Jolie-like supervillains!

...time to get some sleep.

...mindless post numero uno.

7.23 pm.

Left office, exasperated. At times considering suicide. Seek help from a friend to get a .38 but to no avail (I guess that guy must have thought that I was joking).

It was a typical day in the office; came in late, read emails, rush for a quick breakfast. Hey ho. I am ready to conquer the world!

Bullshit.

Towards the end of the day I end up crying my heart out. Work-related stress.. Maybe because I was having my period that day. First day, mood swing like a pendulum. Left and right, non-stop. At times you thought of quitting but you know when you quit you are better off dead.

Thinking of calling friends. Maybe this one will listen. Nope. She's busy. Not picking up. Try another friend. Nope, this person is also as screwed-up like me. Oh, this friend might be able to help. Towards the end of the conversation, this person actually said - "Hey, I guess you can actually work this out on your own." Nice touch there buddy. I will say that to you when you call me for advise later. Another, I couldn't even bother to ask. The standard response.."Hmm.."

So in the end, time to hit the 'Stop' button. Hey, people ain't gonna be there for you all the time, bitch. Move on.

One guy told me that I should never have expectation on other people. Or to expect any kind of return. Ikhlas, the Muslim Malays would say. Sincerity. OK..

I found myself a new best friend - an unlit cigarette - my attempt to start an unnecessary and wasteful habit of smoking.

It's just a matter of time before I took that fateful whiff, and then decide whether this is a good friend or not. At least I can pretend that the cigarette butt will listen to my problem. I told my husband I'm going to start smoking. He even jokes about it - "Go green honey, let's do grass". He thinks I am not going to do it. Boy, you'll be surprised...

To fellow smokers out there, rejoice! I'll be joining you in the pantries, staircases, sidewalk, smoking-areas in restaurants. Hell, my hotel room preferences after this will be 'Smoking Rooms'.

...