...illness of the heart...

1.11 am.

Working. From where I sit, I can actually hear Amir snoring from the back room. Strange that he chose to sleep in that room alone. Oh well. Not the first time anyway. Maybe he is giving me some space tonight...

It has been an interesting day (at the beginning). I got invited for the Teh Tarik session with Dato' CEO. When I first got the itinerary, I was saying, what the hell? Half a day? How many glasses of Teh Tarik can we stomach? Well, towards the end of the session, it's only two glasses. And yeah, they served nasi lemak and kuih too. So Malaysian. (Note to organizer; Rendang pedas gile. Nasi lemak ok-ok la. Kuih karipap saya tak suka. Teh tarik layannnnnn...)

We got to take group pictures with him (since I am dressed-up to the nine today, I got to sit next to him...ahem). Chit chatting on Group direction... yada yada yada (I'm half-listening anyway). Then the highlight of the session; take personal picture with Dato at his desk, and we got to sit on his seat! (not on his lap...ngeh ngeh...as if.) Someone commented that I looked like a CEO of a cosmetic company. Hey, I'm flattered. The other ladies were dressed up typically in baju kurung. Sape suruh, nampak macam makcik2. Mesti tak bergaya dalam gambar tu. HAHAHAHAHAHA...

But it was then marred by a text message...some screwed-up shit happened...

My first reaction to this text message was, disbelief. Then, anger striked. Called abah first. Expressed disappointment over matter. He said "Ini ujian untuk kau, As." Not enough consolation. Still angry. Called sender of text message. Tried be objective and solve the problem.

Problem partially solved. Go home happy. Can't wait to see sender of text message to tell him of my session today!

Logon to facebook. Nice. Sender of text message actually updated his 'What's on your mind?', saying about the screwed up thing that he texted me this afternoon at work. And yes, some other comments by his friends too. Suddenly, temper flares (something to do with insensitiveness of sender of text message's friends). Avoid sender of text message at home. Prefer not to even eat, nor talk with the sender of text message. In the end, sender of text message chose to sleep in the spare room.

You see, domestic argument is ugly. I am short- tempered. Before, it would end up with heated oral arguments. After 5 years, I just keep my mouth shut. The less I said, the better. Yes, I am angry for some reason. But argument doesn't work anymore for me. He hates my reasoning, saying that all I wanted is to have it my way. I hate his tendencies to stop mid-argument, putting his hands up even before a consensus was reached.

So what is the next best thing? You just look away.

..and just look away.